Guest Rambler, David Burg
Shabbat Serenity
Shabbat serenity - what does it look like? Crossing that line of demarcation from the world of physical production and pace to a world of relaxation, contemplation and connection. What does that serenity look like for me – if and when I can capture it? When I can reach it and have a real transition. For me that means leaving work a little early, going to the gym and getting lost in a workout. Get home, put on some comfortable clothing, turn off my cell phone and enter the kitchen which is a buzz of activity… and help with final preparations for the Shabbos table. And when I just enter into pure calm at the table, I know I've succeeded in the detachment from the work week and it is on. You know when you’re there, right?
Well, you also know when you’re not. A couple weeks ago, Friday night was a tough one for me. One of my daughters had been very upset; in emotional turmoil with boy stuff. Just she and I were at home that night, with everyone else traveling out of town. And then a few of her friends stopped by to comfort her and it was a beautiful scene. I was choked up… at this age, girls can be petty and harsh – even the friends. And then a few more girlfriends came in… and they packed her room and just brought her comfort, and love. But let me tell you, comfort for these 16-year-olds is not the same as Shabbat serenity.
And I was permissive… and understanding… because I wanted my daughter to be happy and I was in the moment. That, and the lady cat was away.
And so it was. The path we took that night was one of comfort and indulgence, but not detachment and serenity. Fast forward a couple of hours, I’m watching Gerard Butler crush it on Netflix (Olympus Has Fallen). I am on my second glass of scotch... fire burning on the patio. And those beautiful, innocent, caring 16-year-old angels already had boys over, completed their beer run, and beer pong was in full swing on my dining room table – the table which usually serves as the jumping off point to usher in Shabbat.
I had about 34 of 39 categories of creative labor (forbidden on Shabbat) going full force all at once. And it kept going downhill from there.
On Saturday morning… I got out of the shower and was brushing my teeth, looking in the mirror… I was feeling a little groggy, really crappy about myself... But then I remembered something so basic from my friend Ethan Weiss’s WhatsApp message on Friday afternoon about the Torah portion of that week: Bereshis. It was, and it is, and we are, In the Beginning. A fresh start, baby, and I was going to JFX that morning to get into the zone that had eluded me on Friday night… it was almost going to be like a Catholic confessional. We were starting over on the Big Book, and I was going to catch that wave.
JFX didn’t disappoint, as usual. The Rabbi’s first commentary that morning was about Shabbat as the linchpin of emunah (faith) - I think he said it that way. He went on to say that God's greatest creation – His crowning achievement – came on Day Six, when Adam was created… and that all creations leading up to Day Six show us, as we know, that this world is here for us, for our pleasure and for our proper use.
But then Rabbi Koval also reminded us that Shabbat, the Day of Rest, is for all parts of creation, first and last, because it is that serenity, that transcendence, that engagement with our Creator where the real perfection takes place. That creation is, and must by definition be, sublimated to the higher plane we yearn for on the Sabbath. And at JFX, there we were are at Bereshis and I knew that I was good, that I would be OK.
I was able to get an aliyah which for me was big, and maybe a sign that Hashem – or the Rabbi – knew the struggle, but also knew my intent. And when I grabbed the two Torah rollers in my hands, I just envisioned a bolt of energy and redemption coming through the scroll and the scroll rods, right to the roller handles and up my arms, and to my head and to my heart. A new beginning, a new Bereshis in our cyclical notion of time, and for me, nothing hyperbolic or melodramatic or life-changing… but this week I would win the battle… a strong starting block for me to re-position myself and push forward.
And lastly, one other takeaway from the JFX minyan that was a keeper for anyone who saw it and heard it. Young Yitty Koval spoke in honor of her great-grandfather and great-great grandfather’s yahrtzeit, as the Kiddush was sponsored by her own grandparents, Jake and Rochel. Yitty used the metaphor of 3 braided cords from Ecclesiastes to honor the unbreakable legacy of her family over many generations, and what made it so... the cords of God and family and Judaism – that have bound the Kovals throughout the generations.
So the takeaway from the whirlwind of introspection and dichotomy of experience in those 12 hours is Bereshis…that there is always a new beginning. That Hashem is with us when we fall, if we look for Him and want Him to be there. That if we surround ourselves with those who are strong and who are driven by Torah wisdom, we can push forward.This week may be one of small victories; but that the greatness of the braided cords is also within reach to all.
Shabbat Shalom,
David
