Hello, my name is Sruly and I'm becoming caffeine-sober this month. There, I said it. My annual coffee confession.
My friends and family know that I start preparing for a "dry Yom Kippur" a month in advance. This way, by the time the fast day comes around, I don't spend the entire day distracted from the meaning of the day with a headache and other unpleasant side effects. (Instead I just spend the entire month distracted by the side effects of quitting :)
I have another confession to make: something about this annual addiction-recovery cycle of mine really makes me uncomfortable. On the one hand, it is "Elul," the Jewish month that precedes Rosh Hashanah, dedicated to preparing ourselves for the High Holidays. So, I guess this is a preparation for Yom Kippur of sorts. On the other hand, the real purpose of this month is supposed to be to focus on changes that affect our moral habits and character and our spiritual and ethical behavior. So, it feels kind of petty that here I am, channeling my energy and time, making changes in my behavior in an area that is so unimportant, in the big scheme of things...
At
the very least, I'm hoping (and trying!) to use the momentum generated
by this process to fuel some (small but) important changes as well.
Case
in point: last night I ate a light and early dinner, went out, got home
late and felt the midnight snack urge. To eat or not to eat, that was
my struggle. I knew that I surely didn't need to give in to my old
nemesis, the post-dinner snack "yetzer hara" (id), but the temptation
was strong. My "yetzer tov" (super-ego) argued back, "Hey, if you can
control caffeine intake, you can control unnecessary food intake as
well."
So
for now, I'll try and ride the wave of self-control and apply it to
more useful areas of life. Will I revert to my old caffeine ways after
Yom Kippur? I hope not. I hate being addicted to anything. But,
judging from previous years' experiences, it won't shock me (even less
my wife:) if I do. As Mark Twain used to say, "Quitting smoking is
easy. I've done it hundreds of times!"
