by Ruchi
This past Tuesday I sent a fax that will forever change my life.
It
looked innocent enough. It was a form to fill out sundry details, like
names, dates, credit card info. But it was actually registration for
one particular group flight on El Al for September 3, 2012, when my
first-born baby daughter (now 17) will leave this country for almost a
whole year to study full-time Judaism in Israel.
I'm
not the mushy type, as many of you know. I don't mourn the growing up
of my kids. I love it, I celebrate it, and I pretty much look forward
to each new stage. But this is different, somehow. This is Adulthood.
There's more, though.
My
year in Israel, amost 20 years ago, was transformative. It shaped me,
formed me, as a human being, as a Jew, as a woman. Building upon what
my parents gave me and what my day school education gave me, my year in
Israel produced tears of joy, tears of confusion, tears of spiritual
sweat, tears of frustration, and tears of fatigue. It produced
conversations I never thought I'd have, friendships I've never let go
of, endless cassette tape recordings to send home to my family ( that
they still listen to and have played for my kids), journal entries I'm
scared to read, synapses I didn't even know were possible, cultural
exposures I'd never seen before. Ultimately I faced God there, with no
family around to introduce Him. Just me and Him. In Israel. For real.
This
is what gives me the shivers. Will my daughter cry those tears? Will
she cry her own? I don't want her to live my journey - I want her to
live her own. And I'm bursting with curiosity and hopes. What will
that journey look like? It starts September 3rd. Where will it end?
