Giving Back
When she dropped off the mail on Monday, Angie our mail carrier cheerfully wished me a “Happy New Year's!”
I always enjoy an inner chuckle when I hear people who equate our Jewish New Year's with the secular New Year's of January 1st. The two days, while they may technically share the same name, are as different as night and day. January 1st has drinking and partying; Rosh Hashanah has fish heads and apples in honey. January has party horns, Rosh Hashanah has a shofar. January is a time of revelry in the streets, Rosh Hashanah is a time of prayer in the synagogue. Most importantly, Rosh Hashanah is a serious and solemn time. It is a time of reflection on our purpose in this world, on G-d’s hopes and aspirations for us and on how we are living up to those hopes and aspirations.
On the afternoon of Rosh Hashanah we were sitting around with the children. My wife, Miriam, gave the children a special holiday treat – their own package of Gushers. While my small daughter Faye was enjoying her special snack, Miriam asked her if she could give her one. “No!” was her quick reply. Miriam asked again: “I just want one!” but was flatly refused once more. After asking a third time and being rejected, Miriam gave up (it’s not like she wanted the candy that badly!). I was watching the scene unfold and I commented to Miriam (tongue in cheek, obviously, recognizing we are dealing with a child) how much chutzpah it shows for my daughter to deny her mother a candy! After all, who gave her the candy in the first place if not her mother?! And here was her mother, the very provider of the candy in the first place, asking for a mere fraction back of what she graciously bestowed on her, and being flatly denied!
Being this is the time of the High Holidays, my mental sensitivities are heightened for analysis as to self-improvement. Hence, it came as no surprise to me that my follow-up remarks were to draw an analogy between that episode and our own lives.
After all, don’t we act with the same chutzpah towards G-d? (And we don’t enjoy the excuse of being children!)
He is our ultimate benefactor, providing us with everything we have. The gift of life. Health. Finances. Relationships. Physical and mental abilities and tools. You name it! Every single thing that we possess comes from Him!
Yet, when He asks us for a little bit in return, to “give back” to Him, too often we answer with a petulant and resounding “No!”
Give a tenth of my income to charity? “No!”
Carve out a few minutes of my day to pray to Him so that we can strengthen our relationship? No!
There are many more examples but you get the point.
None of us are immune from such criticism; we all have our weaknesses and areas in which we are not willing to “give back” to G-d, content instead to follow our OWN desires.
In this time of the year, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, known colloquially as “the ten days of repentance,” we are instructed to engage in thoughts of introspection and ideas for self-improvement. Step one is every person needs to spend at least a few minutes during these 10 days contemplating areas of their spiritual lives and focusing on a few things that can use improvement. What are some areas (there are 613 mitzvot so I am sure everyone can find something!) in which G-d is asking us to do something, to “give back” to Him, but we are not doing so – either completely ignoring that request or not doing it in the best possible way? Following that is step two, and this is the key to making this a successful endeavor – resolving and formulating a concrete plan to make improvements (even slight ones) to become better in some way the next year.
No one is expected to completely change themselves overnight; it takes a lifetime of growth to accomplish that. But every single person is capable of taking small steps to improve. And next year you can build on that. And the following year build some more.
When G-d sees how we recognize our shortcomings and that we take real steps to changing those shortcomings, He is moved to overlook our failings and is more likely to continue to shower us with those blessings which we so desperately need.
May we all use these special days to make some upgrades in our service of G-d, “giving back” to Him more than we have done in the past, and in that merit may we all be blessed with a truly “Happy New Year!”
Shabbat shalom!
