Raccoon Feet and Crocodile Eyes
This Sunday I took a trip with my family to a lavender farm in Madison, OH, for a lavender farm festival. For months since my wife heard about it she has put it on our calendar as a must-do. Although I love nature I can’t say it was at the top of my wish list but, being the good husband that I am, I told her to go herself. Just kidding! Of course I happily went along.
As we were packing up the car to head over to the farm I told the kids to go out to the car and wait for us. We finished putting together everything we needed and we got into the car and went.
When we pulled up to the farm and got out of the car we noticed that our 4-year-old, Chaim, looked quite hysterical. You see, Chaim has a very strong and independent personality and we choose our battles with him.
On this particular day he decided he wanted to choose out his wardrobe by himself and, not wanting to argue, we didn’t pay much attention. In fact, it was one less thing that we had to deal with so we were happy. When we pulled up to the farm we realized that he was wearing a long-sleeve sweater with a short sleeve t-shirt over it. Considering it was 88 degrees we tried to tell him he would be too hot walking around outside with a sweater on. He didn’t want to listen to us but we finally convinced him to take off the sweater and just go with the t-shirt.
The bigger problem was with his choice of footwear. Unbeknownst to us when we left home, Chaim decided to wear his new cozy raccoon slippers that we had bought him a few weeks ago. In addition to looking rather funny, it wasn’t exactly the ideal type of shoe to wear while walking around a farm. Unfortunately we had no other options with us so that is exactly what he wore.
As we walked around the farm we were met with bemused stares and comments to Chaim from strangers. “I like your slippers!” they would all say, all the while wondering, I’m sure, what kind of parents we were bringing our kid to a farm in raccoon slippers. In all of the beautiful pictures we took that day the thing that stands out prominently are Chaim’s raccoon slippers.
When you are parents of 8 children you have seen it all and you laugh these things off so it really did not bother me at all (I can’t say the same about Chaim’s older sister who was mortified by her brother’s appearance.) It did however get me thinking about Chaim’s likely reaction down the road. I suspect it will be something along the lines of his older brother Yoni who, when he was around the same age as Chaim, would insist on making circles with his fingers around his eyes whenever we took a picture. He called them “crocodile eyes.” (They were actually more like “raccoon eyes” which makes me wonder what dormant gene is in my DNA that gives my kids an obsession with raccoons.)
We used to plead with him to pose normally because one day he would look at the pictures and not be happy. Of course, trying to reason with a 4-year-old is an exercise in futility so we were as unsuccessful with Yoni and his crocodile eyes as we were with Chaim and his raccoon slippers. And, sure enough, when we look at pictures of old family trips Yoni can’t believe that we let him make his crocodile eyes in every picture (as if we had a choice!)
Recently I was studying Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers) and I came across a teaching – “Be cognizant of the following three things and you will never come to sin. Know what is above you – a seeing eye, an ear that hears and all of your actions are written and recorded.” In other words, the mishnah teaches us that every single action of ours is observed and recorded for eternity. After we pass away and our actions from decades before are just a distant memory, we will be shown by the Heavenly Court a video recording of everything we have done. We will not be able to deny it or delete it. It will be there for us to see and be ashamed of but alas, at that point it will be too late to change it.
The Mishnah exhorts us to bear that thought in mind BEFORE we act so that we will be spared the embarrassment later on.
Much like Yoni who regrets his crocodile eyes and Chaim who will one day surely regret his raccoon slippers, we will have much remorse for many of our deeds. Unlike a 4-year-old however, we will not be able to chalk it up to the behavior of an immature and young mind. It is acceptable for a 4-year-old to wear what he wants or make silly faces. It is not acceptable for intelligent and mature minds to act in ways contrary to G-d’s will. When we will see the video evidence of our actions we will cringe with embarrassment but at that point it will be too late to change it.
Let us act now by keeping this thought in mind as much as possible. As the saying goes - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Koval
