The Fire of Hell
They say that the fear of public speaking is greater than the fear of death. Why is this so? Because people are scared to death (pun intended) of putting themselves out there and risking embarrassing themselves in a public forum.
Contrary to the belief of many well-meaning people out there, Jews DO believe in heaven and hell. In fact, the belief in an afterlife is one the basic Jewish tenants of faith. What exactly does hell look and feel like? We're not the "devil and pitchfork" people. While it's hard to describe a spiritual experience in physical terms, plus nobody has ever come back to report, the Kabbalists explain that when a person dies and the soul goes to heaven, it is shown a review of its entire life: the good, the bad and the ugly. It has a bird's-eye view of all of its lifetime accomplishments, but it's also shown how much potential it had to accomplish greater things. This celestial shame and embarrassment that a (person) soul feels through this experience is how the Kabbalists describe the "fire of hell."
Along this same vein, the Mussar masters teach us that if a person is wrongfully and publicly humiliated and keeps quiet, swallows his pride and does not retaliate by yelling back, he generates a powerful spiritual light that brings tremendous blessings to himself and to anyone else who is fortunate enough to have him channel his blessings to at that moment. This makes sense. After all, if hell is the fire of shame that a soul experiences, then going through shame in this world serves as atonement and prevents a person from needing to go through that experience again in the afterlife.
That's a pretty cool trivia fact to remember the next time someone humiliates you publicly. The problem is, when it happens, you're usually caught off guard. (If it was that easy, it wouldn't be that powerful!)
Have you ever gotten publicly humiliated? I had my first real opportunity recently: We had a meeting scheduled for 5:30 and since a few of the participants work in the same office building, we decided to schedule it at a conference room in that building.
At 5:30, while the rest of us were in the conference room, waiting for the meeting to start, one of the participants answered a sales call. The rest of us were waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Twice during this period I stuck my head into his office, reminding him that we were all waiting for him. Finally, after awhile, he rolls into the meeting. We all thought he was going to apologize to us for the delay. But he totally shocked me, and everyone else in the room, by yelling and cursing at me for interrupting his phone conversation and making him feel rushed and pressured. He did apologize profusely later. However, in the moment, wow, was I taken by surprise!
What would you have done? If you had to "pick your fire," which would you choose?
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Koval
