My Little Baby
Ever since becoming a parent I have always enjoyed bedtime with my kids.Not every aspect, mind you. I certainly don’t enjoy having to lure them back in from outside and fighting them to bathe, brush their teeth and go to sleep. What I have enjoyed though is the actual spending time with them as I put them to sleep.
For starters, I usually end up getting in a little nap for myself. More times than I can count I would go upstairs to “put them to sleep” only to conk out myself and have them prance around the room. More importantly though, it gives me the opportunity to read to them, talk to them and spend quality time with them.
One of my favorite bedtime books over the years has been I Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. In this book a mother holds her newborn baby and rocks him to sleep while singing a lullaby that goes “I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as you’re living my baby you’ll be.”
The book chronicles the growth of the baby into a toddler, a youngster, a teenager, an adult and a middle-aged man. In each phase of life, despite the chaos he adds to her life, the mother quietly comes into his room while he’s sleeping and holds him and sings the lullaby. At the end of the book, when the mother is aged and infirm, the son drives to her house and holds his mother on his lap and sings the same lullaby.
I am not ashamed to say that I have gotten choked up numerous times while reading this book. As a parent it tugs at the heartstrings and brings home the realization that time moves on and our kids will eventually grow up but they will always be our little child.
Two weeks ago I had the privilege and blessing of marrying off my oldest daughter. To have an opportunity to walk my daughter down the aisle to be wed to a wonderful young man was both completely surreal as well as the most joyous feeling of my lifetime.
Along with the joyous anticipation for the event, I spent the weeks leading up to the wedding reflecting on the past 20 years and the growth and development of my daughter. Recalling her birth, her nursery years, her elementary school years, her high school years and her year in Israel.
Watching her stand under the chuppah, radiant in her gown and minutes away from being married all I could think is “I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”
Mixed in with all of the incredibly happy feelings are some bittersweet feelings recognizing that my baby won’t be living at home with us anymore. Walking past her room the week of sheva brachos (traditional post-wedding celebrations) gave me a feeling of sadness. And when she left to Israel to start building her own home 6,000 miles away from me I unsuccessfully tried to hold back the tears. My baby has left my house and I am going to miss her.
Fortunately age brings with it experience and wisdom.I now have a better appreciation of the present because I have seen firsthand how the years pass by so quickly.
Thank G-d I have 7 other children. At the wedding I picked up my one-year-old daughter and hugged her tight. I realized at that instant that in the blink of an eye the years will pass and I will, G-d willing, be walking her down the aisle to her chuppah. As I squeezed her close and relished the moment I thought to myself, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be."
The future will come before we know it, so for now I am going to try and savor and appreciate the present.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Koval
