Choosing Happiness
Be happy!
OK, did that work? What, you didn't hear me the first time? Let's try again. Ahem. Be happy!
Still no good? "V'samachta b'chagecha" (Deuteronomy 16:14). And you shall be happy on your holiday. So now that the Torah has commanded me to be happy, can I make myself be happy? How can someone command you to have a certain emotion?
One of the most empowering concepts in Judaism is that we actually do have control over our emotions. We can't control our initial, instinctive emotions, but we sure can control what happens after that. If the Torah is commanding us to be happy, it means there are certain things we can and must do to choose happiness. What are they?
Any therapist will report a spike during holiday seasons. People are in close proximity with family for a prolonged period of time, are often guests in one another's homes, are dealing with lots of food prep and time management issues with people not being on regular schedules. Often grown adults revert to childhood roles in unhealthy ways. If the Torah is telling us that SPECIFICALLY during the holiday we are obligated to be happy, it means we must overcome the natural tendencies to become short-tempered with others and ourselves during these holy days. How?
I've learned the hard way that choosing happiness is a decision that one makes to do the following:
1. Pursuing meaningfulness in my day independent of the choices of others
2. Counting my blessings instead of ruminating on what's broken
3. Making positive choices and learning from others
4. Lowering my expectations and embracing my imperfect reality.
Let me assure you that this is way easier said than done. Let me assure you that I've failed as many times as I've succeeded.
Let me assure you that I've picked myself up every time and started again.
Let me assure that nothing, nothing feels better than choosing happiness.
You can do it too. Let me know how it goes.
Shabbat shalom!
Ruchi
