Delayed but not Defeated

Delayed but not Defeated This past Sunday I embarked with my family on a trip to Orlando for their mid-winter break. You know how there are those families that are super organized and always have everything in order and perfect? Well, we are not one of those families. We are the type that is more spur-of-the-moment. Typically, when we fly somewhere, we rush out of the house and arrive at the gate huffing and puffing and sweating from doing a mad dash through the terminal. Well, this time I was determined to do better. With the help of my older daughters, we had everyone packed up, complete with food bags and DVD players (fully charged!), a bag of DVDs and a separate bag with earbuds. I wanted the kids to be full, so I ordered pizza before we left and made sure they ate a good lunch. Everything was working beautifully. We got to the airport at 1 for a 2:30 flight. Check-in and security moved quickly. We arrived at the gate with plenty of time to spare, relaxed and sweat-free. It was a great feeling. We settled in the waiting area, eagerly awaiting a week of warm weather and sunshine. When the official boarding time came and went, the agent announced that they were just waiting for maintenance to finish up. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes - nothing. Finally, the agent got on the PA systema and apologized for the delay, but said they were still waiting for maintenance to finish up. A low groan reverberated throughout the waiting area. Then, the agent announced that there was a minor problem with the engine. They were hoping to take off in an hour or so. Now the collective groan got a little louder. My children, especially the younger ones, were none too happy about this unwelcome news. Honestly, neither was I, but I was actually very calm about the situation. Just that morning I happened to open a pamphlet written by a great rabbi, Rabbi Avigdor Miller, who was discussing the story of the Ten Plagues and the Exodus from Egypt. In his powerful and insightful essay he talks about how the purpose of the Exodus was to teach the world (including the Jewish nation) that G-d controls and is in charge of every single aspect of the world, from the largest natural disasters down to an individual stubbing his toe on the sidewalk. Nothing in this world happens without it being Divinely ordained. The article struck a chord with me and now, confronted with the delay, I thought about what I had read just hours earlier, and felt a sense of calm. After an hour of waiting, the agent again got on the speakers. “It seems that the engine can’t be fixed until we get a part flown in from Denver, so our new approximate time for takeoff will be 9:30 pm.” This was to be seven hours later than our original time. Now panic set in as everyone began to buzz about what to do. Many people ran to the counter to get a refund, while others ran to other airlines to get on different flights. I grappled with what to do, but ultimately went against my base impulse to “just get there already” and decided to keep the reservation and wait. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. Normally I would be stressed and my nerves would be taut, but this time I was so relaxed. I can’t say the same for the woman sitting next to us. When she heard about the delay she got on her phone and began yelling in a voice that could be heard throughout the terminal about how mad she was at the airlines. To make matters worse, she was using language that would make a sailor blush. Sitting there and hearing her was stressful enough, but having my young children be subjected to this vulgarity and watching a person lose themselves was really bothering me. After a few minutes of her venting to the unfortunate recipient on the other end of the line, I leaned over to her and told her, “Excuse me, but there is a child sitting right here," "He ain’t my kid!” she responded. “I know,” I told her, “he’s mine!” She completely ignored me and continued yelling into her phone about how lousy the airline was, et cetera. I told my children that they were witnessing how one should not behave in these situations, and how silly it is to blame the airline for a problem that was clearly not in their control. I explained to them that we were fortunate that G-d was giving us a challenge at that moment to see how we would react to the disappointment of having our vacation delayed. To their immense credit, they began to act like angels. The airline gave us a $15 food voucher for each of us, which, considering the prices in the airport kiosks, amounted to about $4.82 in real market value. We spent the next several hours hanging around the terminal and shopping for kosher snacks in the Hudson News store. (I think we were able to buy a bottle of soda, a bag of chips and a candy with the $15.) But we were famished for some real food. Hopkins airport has no kosher restaurant and we were kind of sick of the Chex mix and Mike and Ikes. Incredibly, a friend of mine heard about our predicament and offered to pick up food from a restaurant in the community and bring it to the airport. Gratefully, I placed an order at Jade Chinese restaurant and 45 minutes later I met him outside the entrance to the airport to receive the valuable goods. I brought our order back to the gate where my family and I enjoyed a sumptuous feast that completely revived us, both physically and in spirit. Finally, at 9:30 pm, we boarded the plane and after an uneventful two-hour flight we arrived in Orlando. It took time to get our luggage and rent a car, so it was at 1 am, a full 13 hours since we left our house all organized and ready, that we wearily pulled up to our rented house where we collapsed into bed. I reviewed the events of the day and had a few thoughts ruminating in my brain as I drifted off to sleep. 1. It is always good to expend efforts to be organized and prepared. In Judaism we call this “hishtadlus” – natural human effort. In fact, it is incumbent upon us to make necessary hishtadlus and not to sit back and wait for things to happen. This is true in everything we do in life, from earning a livelihood to seeking medical care, to raising children, to the smallest things like choosing what to wear when we wake up in the morning. On the other hand, no matter how much we prepare and put forth our effort, ultimately the outcome is in the hands of G-d. Only He determines what happens to us. As prepared as I was to arrive on time and have a relaxing trip, the outcome was out of my hands. 2. When things don’t, in fact, go the way we planned, we need to remember that it is all from G-d. In fact, we should recognize it as being a test from Him to see how we deal with it. Do we accept it with faith as Rabbi Miller preached, thereby elevating our souls, or do we lash out in anger at others, blaming people for problems that were unintended, and acting vulgar in front of complete strangers including little children? The choice is ours; it is up to us to work on our character so that when faced with these challenges we make the correct choice. 3. Finally, when we woke up in the morning we saw an email from Frontier apologizing for the mishap and giving us a $50 voucher per ticket ($350 in total) for future flights. Considering the tickets we had cost us only $33 each round trip, it turned out that not only were our tickets paid for, we had extra towards a future flight! Having already felt good about how I handled the situation the day before, and particularly as it was a great pedagogical moment for my children which I hope will remain with them for a lifetime, this was the cherry on the top. It felt like G-d was winking at me, telling me He was pleased with having passed this particular test (knowing full well I usually come up short!). It helped reinforce my belief that, whether or not there is a tangible reward in the form of a voucher from the airline, you will ultimately always be rewarded by making the right decisions. The four days we spent in Orlando were incredible, probably our best vacation ever! Now, alas, it has come to its conclusion. While the sunshine and warmth dissipated quickly upon arrival in wintry Cleveland, I hope the lessons gained will last a lifetime! Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Yosef Koval