1. "What Are you Living for?"
Everyone wants to know what the purpose of living is in this world. Amazon has over 150,000 books in circulation on this topic!
While everyone has different life-missions (macro and micro) based on the unique set of talents and circumstances that G-d gave him, one thing is for sure, and it's common among all parents: G-d put us into this world to raise our children to be the best, kindest and most developed people possible. When they're younger, it's less pronounced. But as they become teenagers and more developed it becomes both easier and harder to appreciate this. But it's an important universal truth that we need to constantly remind ourselves of!
2. "It's All a Test"
Remember, you can't control what happens to you in life, but you can control how you react. While we can't control our children's behaviors or mood swings, especially the teenagers :), this one makes it so much easier to stay calm, cool and collected. Every time one of our children does something that gets under our skin, it's a divine opportunity to hone our spiritual muscle and develop our character. Our character traits of patience and empathy are constantly being put to the test in the way that we react to and interact with our children.
3. "Keep on Smiling"
Our favorite parenting mantra is to always be fair, firm and friendly. The friendly one can be quite difficult, but it's SO important. Don't let parenting struggles turn into personal battles with your teenagers. Whether we're confronting negative behaviors and attitudes, or imposing and negotiating consequences, try hard to stay objective and not let emotions run high. It'll be SO much easier to pick up the pieces afterwards. In fact, there won't even be that many pieces to pick up! :)
Our rabbi, Rabbi Hirschfeld, always says that the most important parenting rule is that your kids should see that their shenanigans don't drag you down. Try your best to stay happy and keep on smiling. This way, when your kids get older they will want to embrace your values and your joyous lifestyle.
4. "Pick Your Battles"
It's vital for you and your spouse to operate as a team. This means that not only are you both on the same page with your parenting messages, but you learn how to tag team together. Know your strengths and your weaknesses. If confrontation A will cause you to lose your cool, let your spouse take the lead with that one, and you be there as backup and support staff. If you need to strengthen your relationship with a particular child, play "good cop-bad cop" with your spouse, and you be good cop until things get squared away.
5. "Don't Give Up"
Mood swings, confrontations, etc... parenting can be exhausting. Especially when you don't see the results you're looking for when you want to see them. There is a Hebrew saying, "yeshuas Hashem keheref ayin," which means "G-d's salvation can come in the blink of an eye." Parenting is like planting seeds. You have to provide both the water and the sunshine. You never know when your sapling will take root and blossom. So, keep at it. The breakthrough you're hoping for (AND PRAYING FOR) will come through!
