by Ruchi
THE SOMO LEARNING LAB
I recently attended what's called a "SOMO Learning Lab," hosted by my friend Chris. It's designed to develop "social-emotional leadership" via positive psychology. Which apparently is now called Positive Psychology. Ok, that's very cool. I decided it's all very Jewish and am actually continually squelching the urge to interject on their every Facebook post (can you read Facebook junkie, anyone?) "Hey! That comes from the Talmud!"
HOW'S THAT WORKIN' FOR YA?
In any event, one of the memorable lines of the evening was, "How's that workin' for ya?" As in, and I paraphrase, angry at your boss? How's that workin' for ya? Does it feel good/bring you to a better place/foster creative brainstorming etc, to be angry at your boss? Or might you benefit from looking at the situation in a positive, solution-oriented, giving-the-benefit-of-the-doubt kind of way? So I take this one step further.
Angry at God? How's that workin' for ya? Does it bring you peace? Closure? Clarity?
I'm going to do something very stupid right now and use an example from the feminist archives. Why stupid? Because feminism tends to be one of those issues where, when debated, neither side budges and each side ends up mad, misunderstood, and more fired up than ever.
Whereas I like when we all get along and focus on what unites us.
So take this in context.
THE FEMINIST AND THE DOOR
I have been quite fascinated and stymied by the famous example of the gentleman who held the door open for the feminist, and was rewarded with a kick in the shins. Women are not the weaker sex and do not need any man to hold open any doors, thank you very much.
Now. Here's my question.
If a man opens a door for you, and you are a feminist, you have a choice. You can view it one of two ways. You can say:
1. Wow! A man treating a woman with respect. Score. Or,
2. Do you think we're weak? Secondary? Incapable? Kick.
The question of rightness and wrongness becomes irrelevant here, because you can choose to view it either way. "Right" is what you perceive. It's OPINION. Remember that chapter in social studies?
So the new question is, how's that workin' for ya?
Who ends up happier, more secure, content, and at peace? I am not pretending to answer this question. I am floating it out there for all of you.
THE BELIEVER AND THE ATHEIST
Now here's another fascinating example, set forth by blogger Sindy. Choosing to view God as mean, punitive, or non-existent, are choices one is enabled to make; equally valid is the choice to perceive God as a kindly, all-knowing, all-powerful being who has our best interests at heart every moment. Here's a little convo between me and Nosson, my 4-year-old son.
N: Is Hashem (God) a person? (Of course he says this with an adorable lisp, so it comes out like "powson.")
Me: No, Hashem is Hashem.
N: Does He have eyes?
Me: No.
N: So how does He see?
Me: Isn't it amazing, that Hashem can see without eyes?
N: Does he have a mouth?
Me: No. No mouth either.
N: He doesn't even have a BODY???
Me: No, Hashem does not have a body.
N: So how is He a He???
Me: Hashem is not a He or a She. Hashem Is a Hashem!
This conversation fills me, and I hope my son, with security, light, hope and peace.
Now for someone who is not a believer, this conversation would unfold in a radically different vein.
And I go out on a limb and ask: How's that workin' for ya? Who is more content, joyous, peaceful, and secure? The believer or the atheist? Even if it's opinion, it's not a bad choice.
THIS WEEK'S PARSHA
In this week's parsha, we see a number of mind-blowing events. A donkey speaks. A prophet attempts to curse the Jewish people and instead blessings come out of his mouth. An angel appears openly. A plague breaks out as punishment for immorality and idolatry. A person kills two sinners with a spear and stops the plague.
The choice:
1. View these events with skepticism, cynicism, and judgmentalism. Presume that they never happened or are at best incomprehensible.
2. Say: this is hard to understand, but maybe there's a message here for me. Let me find out more. Information is power.
Which approach will leave you feeling better about yourself and life, more confident in who you are as a Jew, and more secure that there is meaning, purpose, morality, structure, and focus in this increasingly crazy world?
THE RABBI AND THE MUD
A long time ago, my great-grandfather 7 generations up had an encounter. A Chassidic Rabbi, he was walking with his students and they passed a man, all decked out in his tallit and tefillin as though for prayer, but laying in the mud fixing his wagon wheel. The students were greatly disturbed, and queried: "Rabbi, how could someone lower himself into such dirt while still clothed in his holy objects?? Has he no sensitivity??" And that great Rabbi, Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev, turned his eyes heavenward adn replied: "My dear God... look at your children. Even while they are only fixing a wagon wheel, they still want to be clothed in your holy garments."
And I ask you: who is right? And... how's that workin' for ya?
