by Ruchi
Mazel Tov! It's a.... we're not telling.
Did you hear the one about the couple who declined to share the news of whether their newborn was a boy or girl? They would like their child to have the option of discovering its own identity, without rigid gender roles determining clothing, appearance, profession, leisure activities, or capabilities. (Will the nanny tell all?)
I will wisely decline from sharing my opinions of their choice. I will however, compare this decision to another, much more common, and very similar decision that many parents decline to make for their kids.
Religion.
"I just want my child to be happy."
"When she gets older, she can decide how or if to be religious."
"I always hated when my parents forced religion on me."
"I want to expose my children to everything so that they can make good choices."
Ever heard these sentiments?
In the Yahoo News article that I read, very few readers were in favor of the aforementioned parents' choice. Gender is clearly a highly core part of someone's identity.
Isn't religion?
How did I get here? Where am I going? Why does it matter what I do? Am I some kind of cosmic mistake? What will happen to me after I die? What's the meaning of it all? If a tree falls in the forest, will Someone make sure a new one grows?
These questions really matter. The answers are frighteningly important. Sorry to use that nasty R word, but religion, indeed, is a highly core part of identity. How could such a decision be left to children when their own parents cannot answer it?
Parents: we have a huge responsibility to help our kids navigate these issues! So what's the obstacle?
Are we afraid of being judgmental?
Consider: every time you make a choice for yourselves or your kids, you are exercising judgment. What to eat, what to wear. Who will educate your kids; where will they go to summer camp. With whom will they have sleepovers and playdates. What are you buying at the grocery store and who are your babysitters. Judgments are GOOD. They help us filter what is in line with our values and what is not. It's judgmentalism toward PEOPLE that gets us awry - but judgmentalism toward ideologies, philosophies, and systems is vital to being a thinking, feeling, value-driven human being.
Don't be afraid, parents. Educate yourselves. Weigh the options. Choose wisely. For yourselves... and for your kids.
Anyway, he looks like a boy.
