Mazel Tovs and Mountains Moved
By the time you read this ramble it will be the day of our son’s bar mitzvah.
This event has been a long-anticipated one, above and beyond most of our other family celebrations. For reasons that are too complex to get into in this forum, suffice it to say that I was never really sure if there would be a bar mitzvah for this particular child.
Through a series of miracles, our efforts, and lots of prayer, here we are today. I have so many thoughts at this time and they remain in an unprocessed jumble. So, allow me to process them here, with you, together.
Firstly, gratitude.
Gratitude is a most Jewish trait and I have always taught that grateful people are happy people. When you’re not sure if something that seems so natural will actually happen, it deeply heightens your gratitude when it does. You learn from experience not to take anything for granted. Even things that seem guaranteed are not really ever guaranteed.
We never know what unexpected things life will bring our way, and therefore we must remain humble, without entitlement, and with hearts full of gratitude.
Secondly, it is such a lesson to me that one never really knows what is going on in other people's lives and homes.
From the outside, it might seem that things are OK, but who knows what kinds of hell people are going through privately? Just as many of you have no idea what I’m talking about, because you are not privy to the inner workings of my life, so too it’s so important for me to remember that the people I meet each have a story.
Some of the stories are apparent and obvious, and some are deeply private, sometimes even shameful. We must remember to be kind and not make judgments of others because their lives are not an open book. Judgment is reserved for God.
Thirdly, this milestone reminds me that effort is the most important thing in God's eyes. We see the achievements of others without having any clue how hard they have worked to get to where they are. In God‘s world, the effort we put into something is everything. And results are not guaranteed, and are not in our hands.
Even if something is not a tough choice for us, because we just know that we have to do it and we have no other option, but it’s still hard to do, the difficulties involved in the journey are deeply meaningful to God and have a profound impact on who we become as human beings. Whatever time or energy or mental strength, or emotional reserves, are invested into a project or endeavor or child - all take a toll on us, and these investments do not go unnoticed.
This is actually the whole purpose of our journey on this planet. We are here to interact with this universe, connect with Godliness, and create an impact, while molding ourselves into better people. The more difficulties we encounter here, the more possibility for transformation.
However long it took for us to get here as a family is exactly how long it took for us to become kinder and more humble and more patient people. I say this not to boast, because I am frightfully aware that all this is by the grace of God. I say it because for me, it is a huge mind shift. Instead of looking at this journey as us slogging along in this private and difficult path, I now view it as an ennobled journey filled with endless possibilities for personal enlightenment.
One thing I have definitely learned is that when you stop by to say “mazel tov” to someone at a simcha, it is kind of unfathomable to consider how much may have gone into what seems like a routine milestone. In some cases we do actually coast straight through without much notice. But in other cases, there have been serious mountains moved to get to where that person is.
I know that I am not the same person that I was before this journey, and I can say unequivocally that I like the person I am today more than the person I was before. “Mazel Tov” actually means that good fortune should flow your way. And I guess that this is a blessing that we all can use, no matter what our private or public journeys have looked like.
So mazal tov to you, and mazel tov to us. And mazel tov to all of us, because I figure we could all use a flow of good fortune!
Shabbat Shalom,
Ruchi
