Tripped Up
During the holiday of Passover and Sukkot there are several days that are called chol hamoed – the Intermediate Days. These days are somewhat unique in the sense that they are full-fledged days of their respective holidays, necessitating eating in the sukkah on Sukkot and refraining from chometz on Passover, yet they are days that some of the typical holiday restrictions (the lists of “don'ts” such as driving a car, turning on lights etc) are allowed.
It is commonplace in many households that families go on trips during chol hamoed. While as a child I eagerly anticipated chol hamoed and couldn’t wait to “do something” every day, as a parent I must admit my enthusiasm has somewhat diminished. Not because, G-d forbid, I don’t want to spend time with my family. On the contrary, there are few, if any, things I enjoy more than spending quality time with the ones I love the most.
What frays my nerves (at least a little bit) are several factors, most of which I would imagine are things that trouble most of you who have the bi-annual chol hamoed experience. Primarily it is the back and forth bickering about WHERE we should go. A typical scene in my house goes as follows:
8 p.m. – My wife will say “Let’s plan what to do tomorrow so that we don’t waste time discussing it then and we can get going first thing in the morning.” (She’s very practical.)
8:01 p.m. - A cacophony of voices from my 8 children, ranging in age from 23 down to 4, all shouting in unison that sounds something like this “Fun-n-Stuff!” “I-X Center!” “I HATE the I-X Center!” “I LOVE the I-X Center!” “Fun-n-Stuff is the BEST!” “Fun-n-Stuff is the WORST!” “I want to go shopping!” (I have two teenage daughters.) “I want to go to Chuck e Cheese!” “Chuck e Cheese is so STUPID!” “No it’s NOT!” “Yes it IS!” (Pause for a little physical altercation between the younger two.)
After several minutes of this I will usually make a call for silence and then give my suggestion, always a fan favorite – “I say we go to the park! We can bring our bikes and balls and – Hey! Where are you all going? I’m not finished with my suggestion!”
As you can imagine, had I suggested a trip to the dentist for a root canal I would have been met with more approval.
At this point I will then say (to my wife’s chagrin) “Ok, it’s getting late, we’ll plan our trip in the morning.” Then everyone will stay up late and therefore wake up late as well. At about noon the next day breakfast is served (to the first of 3 shifts) and finally at about 3 o’clock we tell the kids, “Just get in the car! We’ll let you know where we are going!”
We spend several hours on our trip (it almost never ends up being the park; why is my opinion so worthless?) and about 8pm the cycle will start again with my wife saying “THIIISSSS time let’s prepare the NIGHT BEFORE where we want to go….” And the cycle repeats itself.
This beautiful holiday tradition continues throughout chol hamoed. Ahh, the joy!
This year we indeed went to Fun-n-Stuff on one of the days. At the park they offer a package whereby you can purchase a wristband for $17 and go on any ride an unlimited amount of times. While costly no doubt, it is still the best bang for your buck so I purchased wristbands for all of my kids. The only one I did not buy one for was my youngest, Faye, whom I figured would be too scared to go on any of the attractions. The problem was that Faye saw all of her siblings getting a wristband and she wanted one too! Rather than risk her throwing a tantrum (I was pretty “cried out” by then) we asked the staff if they could give her one just to wear although she wasn’t going on any rides.
Indeed the staff was very accommodating and gave Faye her own wristband for free. Needless to say, Faye was delighted! Now she felt like one of the “big” kids!
As her older siblings went on go-karts and bungee jump trampolines and bumper cars, Faye stood with us and watched. Occasionally she sat on one of the arcade games and I pretended that she was actually playing the game as I encouraged her on (fortunately she doesn’t know how to spell yet so she thought the words “Insert Coins” were part of the game).
At the end of the day we went home with a happy group of children (and two exhausted parents), most of whom spent hours enjoying all the perks of the wristband’s entitlements and one who just enjoyed wearing the coveted wristband.
I thought about Faye and the wristband and it occurred to me there is a lesson here for all of us.
We all are granted a “wristband” from G-d and that wristband is being part of the Jewish nation. At Mt. Sinai G-d made us His nation. He gave us the Torah and said, “You are now the Jewish nation! Here is the Torah! Study it and keep its laws!” Being Jewish in and of itself is not the ultimate goal. Rather, being Jewish affords us the incredible opportunity to attach ourselves to G-d and to create eternal blessings for ourselves through studying the Torah and keeping the mitzvot. Every word of Torah studied and every mitzvah observed earns us the greatest possible reward which will perpetuate our souls for eternity.
And yet, sadly, in some area we all are simply content with “being Jewish.” Rather than tapping into the riches that this “wristband” affords us through studying more about the mitzvot and performing them, we are satisfied with the mere existence of the wristband.
Occasionally we may even engage in some superficial performance of that mitzvah but that is no more authentic than sitting at an arcade game without inserting the coins and just watching the demo. There is so much more joy that the wristband can bring us.
There are 7 weeks between Passover and the holiday of Shavuot. The Torah teaches us that these 7 weeks should be a period of self-growth so that we have elevated ourselves by the time we commemorate the giving of the Torah. Perhaps we can each take a look in the mirror at ourselves and find one area of observance where, instead of just wearing the wristband, we actually utilize it and take advantage of the spiritual riches which the wristband entitles us to.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Koval
