Open Says-a-Me
If you have read my articles over the past few years you've noticed that a frequent theme of mine is to take lessons from my daily life, and particularly anecdotes regarding my children, and use them as sources of inspiration to my growth as a Jew. I reallly connect to the metaphor of a parent/child relationship, and its parallel, a G-d/human being relationship.
Every day (when I am in town at least) I take my two-year-old daughter, Faye, to her nursery school. At the entrance to the building is a combination lock on the front door. As two-year-olds are wont to do, Faye is constantly trying to act like a “big person” and insists on opening the door herself. There are two problems with this. One, Faye can’t manage a combination lock. Second, assuming she was some kind of savant and could undo a lock, Faye can barely even reach the lock! The best she can do is hit a few buttons and pull on the handle.
So every day, when we get to the front door we have a routine whereby she tells me she wants to open the door and starts reaching for the lock and pulling on the handle. I tell her, “Ok, you open it!” while stretching out my hand over her head, doing the combination, and assist in pulling the door which is too heavy for her. I am sure that if you were to able to have a mature and intelligent conversation with Faye and ask her who opens the door to the nursery every day she would insist it is her.
One day, while reaching above her head and opening the door it struck me that she is oblivious to my hand above her which is opening the door for her. She sees everything at her eye level – she sees herself touching the lock, tugging at the handle and - voila! - the door opening! At that moment I realized what a lesson this is for me and should be for all human beings. By nature we like to do things on our own. We would rather not have assistance from others and certainly we are reluctant to admit that we are being assisted by a Higher Being – such admission acknowledging that if we buy in to the concept that such a Force is involved in our lives then we are beholden to following the rules of that Force.
So, as humans have done since the time we stepped foot on this planet, we minimize (if we even give deference at all) to the assistance we receive from G-d. “I got the job because I worked hard to get interviews and make a good impression! “I got the promotion because I work hard and do good work for my boss!” “I am in great shape because I eat right and exercise and take care of myself!” “I have a good marriage and well-behaved children because I work on these things!”
While of course it is imperative for us to put in our proper amounts of effort, it is folly to think that our efforts are the sole reason behind our outcomes. Everything we do is ultimately being controlled by G-d. Maybe we worked hard – but who created us and instilled in us the talents and ambitions to work hard? Who bestowed us with natural gifts such as brains, charisma, a healthy and functioning body, and personalities? Of course those tools came from G-d.
Furthermore, we all know people who have as much, if not more, qualities and skills as we do and yet they don’t enjoy the same levels of success. Why? Because G-d decided that should be the case.
In short, every single thing that we do, when we succeed and when we don’t, is because G-d is really the One in control. He just gives us the illusion and lets us imagine it is we who are calling the shots. As the Talmud says, “A man does not so much as bruise his finger down on this world without it being so decreed in heaven.”
I feel this is an important lesson all year round but all the more so during the Chanukah season.
A rabbi once questioned – why does the dreidel have its handle on the top while the gragger (the noisemaker used on the holiday of Purim) have its handle on the bottom? He answered that on Purim the Jews as a whole took the initiative of fasting, prayer and repentance which resulted in G-d sending us a salvation from our enemy. It was we who “got the ball rolling” which resulted in assistance from above – symbolized by the handle being down “below.” Conversely on Chanukah the Jews as a whole did not do any great acts of repentance and coming close to G-d, things which are typically prerequisites to receiving divine assistance, and G-d in His love for us assisted us anyways by defeating our enemy and by the miracle of the oil. This is symbolized by the handle of the dreidel being on top – it was initiated by G-d himself.
As we approach this Chanukah let’s remember the lesson of the dreidel and incorporate it into our lives throughout the rest of the year. We can tug at door handles and play with combination locks all we want, but ultimately the doors to our successes can be opened by G-d alone.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef
