Choosing Happiness
"What are you looking forward to most about the upcoming week?" is the question we asked our kids at our Friday night dinner table a few weeks ago. One of our kids answered, "A snow say this week. They are predicting snow, so I can't wait for there to be a snow day off from school!"
A few days later that wish came true. The incredible thing that I noticed is that the very same child was complaining of boredom by 9:30 am of that snow day!
I said to the child, "Wait... this is your dream come true, a snow day - enjoy it and don't complain about how bored you are already!"
It was a great reminder to me that to be happy, we have to choose happiness. Circumstances can't make us happy, unless we make the choice to embrace or reject and deal with them.
I recently heard a great rabbi, Rabbi Reich from NYC, counsel someone who was going through a very tough set of life challenges, with the following advice: "Don't let life circumstances imprison you. In every circumstance, we create our own reality. We can be living in the darkest dungeon of life and we can create our own little room full of light, positivity, and blessing..."
They say that to have a happy marriage you have to work on it, and that it won't happen by itself. Practically speaking, how many hours do a husband and wife interact with each other on a typical day? A little bit before work and some more time after work? Nevertheless, it takes daily work to make a marriage great.
So how often are we with ourselves? All the time, 24/7. That means that to be happy, we have to choose happiness all the time. That takes work - it won't happen by itself. It is a daily, all-important job!
As my good friend Scott Simon recently posted on his FB page: "Attitude is the most important choice any of us will make. We made it yesterday and we get another choice to make it today. And then again tomorrow."
A tool that I have found to be extremely helpful in this all-important daily mission of choosing happiness is a book called Happiness by Rabbi Zelig Plsikin. The book is predicated on three principles: 1) Learn how to appreciate what you already have 2) Find the positive in life and 3) Talk and act joyously. I highly recommend using this book as a guide to choosing happiness. You might find people asking you what your secret is!
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Koval
