Shavuot Issue
Here Comes the Bride
This past Sunday we celebrated the engagement of my oldest child, Hadassa.
I marvel at the human ability to be able to experience a wide range of emotions, often conflicting ones, simultaneously. In a flash, my mind is flooded with memories, snapshots from twenty years of life that seem to have happened just yesterday.
Wasn’t it just the other day that I was holding her in my arms, moments after she was born? A tiny newborn that, just a few minutes before, turned me into a father.
There was the time she was three years old and I bought her a bike for Chanukah. I woke her up in the middle of the night to give her the present and the face that she had when she saw the bike will forever remain etched in my mind.
There was her first day of school.
Any number of birthday parties, particularly her Sweet 16 when her friends surprised her with an evening gown dress-up party.
Memories of teaching her how to ride a bike. A few years later it was teaching her how to drive a car. Countless trips as her chauffeur to doctors, play-dates and shopping. Watching her walk down the aisle at graduation and beaming with pride as she spoke in front of everyone. Taking her to the airport and sending her off to Israel for a year of seminary. Watching her walk with her friends towards the gate and away from her childhood.
Memories of laughing together and being silly. Memories of discipline and tears and less pleasant times.
While most memories are blurred into generalities and buried into the recesses of my memory, there are those that stay vivid as if they happened yesterday. One such memory which sticks in my mind took place when she was about ten years old. I was sitting at my dining room chair and she came over to me. I took her on my lap and hugged her. For some reason I was struck at that moment by the fact that this moment was fleeting and was not always going to be the case so I hugged her even tighter. I distinctly remember telling her “I want to hold you tight because I know one day you will be grown up and won’t want to sit on my lap so I want to hold onto this moment for as long as I can!”
Now my little girl is grown up and is about to start her own family G-d willing. While it’s hard to let go and there is some sense of sadness and nostalgia for the past, of course the feelings are predominantly joyous. After all, isn’t this our desire when we raise our children? We hope to be blessed with children, to raise them and imbue in them values that are important to us and to eventually begin their own families and continue to make this world a better place.
The holiday of Shavuos commemorates the day that we received the Torah from G-d. The Talmud likens our receiving the Torah to a wedding. At Mt. Sinai we were metaphorically married to the Torah. Our Father in Heaven had the great joy of marrying off His child to the perfect bride – the Torah.
Standing at the foot of the mountain we were flooded with memories from our “childhood." We remembered our time in Egypt, persecuted and tortured. We remembered our salvation and the Ten Plagues that our Father afflicted on our tormentors. We remembered our Father splitting the Red Sea and making our enemies disappear forever. When we were offered the choice of whether we wanted to accept the Torah as our bride it was a no-brainer! “We will do and we will hear,” was our immediate response.
Like a parent who raises a child with the ultimate goal of raising them to continue carrying forward the legacy, G-d too wants us to absorb the valuable lessons of the Torah and pass it on to the next generation to do the same.
This Sunday commemorates the wedding day of the Jewish people. It’s the perfect opportunity to strengthen our commitment to the Torah and “renew our wedding vows." If we can do that we will bring the greatest possible joy to our Father in heaven.
Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach!
Rabbi Yosef Koval
