This past Shabbat, as many of you know and participated in, was the famed and much-anticipated "Shabbos Project." Jews from all over the world would join together and commit to celebrate, and observe as fully as possible, one Shabbat.
We participated in a variety of ways, one of which was inviting some families over to our home for Shabbat dinner who could walk home. I texted the two moms, asking them if they wanted to come before Shabbat, and light candles at our home, or if they would come after candle-lighting at their own home. I offered to pick them up prior to Shabbat by car so they wouldn't have to leave their car at our home for Shabbat.
I was really psyched for an incredible weekend, knowing that so many Jews would be doing the same thing simultaneously. About a half-hour before Shabbat, I started to watch the clock and plan to pick up my friends.
A shrill scream pierced the home just as I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup. Our little daughter, and Chief Hypochondriac, Nomi, had hurt her little finger. We made some soothing noises and kept proceeding with our preparations.
It soon became clear to us the Chief Hypochondriac was actually hurt, evidenced by the blood spurting from her finger. We raced with her to examine the wound, ascertain if stitches were needed (they were, thankfully, not) and bandage up the site.
I glanced at the clock, and it was, on this perfect Friday to the perfect Shabbat, ten minutes to candle-lighting. And I had not yet picked up our friends. I raced to the car, leaving Nomi in the capable hands of an electronic gaming device, trying frantically to call our friends and let them know why I was late. Apparently their phones were off, because no one answered.
I raced over to their home, thankfully found them waiting outside, and with a mouthful of apologies, set off for home. We tumbled into our home, stashed the keys, threw my cellphone onto the car, confiscated said gaming device, and lit the candles, a scant five minutes late. And thus began what was supposed to be the most perfect Shabbat of the year.
I must confess I began Shabbat disappointed. How could I go into the famous "Shabbos Project" frazzled, harried, and late? I felt bad, and like a poor role model. I hoped it wouldn't portend any mishaps. I also apparently forgot to shut off my phone (or charge it, for that matter) because it kept pinging all Shabbat. Oy!
But upon further reflection, I came to see the following:
1. Man plans and God laughs. We are not in control.
2. I did the right thing, not the wrong thing, by helping our daughter. God put me on this earth to, among other tasks, be the best mom I know how to be, so I know he was proud of me for trying to help others (our daughter and picking up our friends), even at the expense of a serene Friday experience.
3. Being in a good frame of mind despite the frazzled entry into Shabbat is what makes a good role model. Sometimes you can enter Shabbat serene, and sometimes you can't. Sometimes life goes your way, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes life is neat and cool, and sometimes it's messy and full of unsolvable puzzles.
Maintaining your good spirits is the part that makes you good role model. So maybe, this was really the most idealized entry into Shabbat. I was engaged in acts of kindness, made it before sundown, enjoyed a beautiful and spiritual dinner with family and friends, and didn't yell, blame or criticize despite unrealized expectations. And the truth is, Shabbat WAS just lovely - from start to finish.
The perfect Shabbos Project.
Shabbat Shalom, Ruchi Koval
