Israel's been on my mind a lot lately.
The other night, I had a wrenching dream in which it became eminently clear to me that I must move to Israel, effective immediately. Then I woke up, surveyed my reality, and disagreed. But I do feel unbelievably fortunate that I get to travel there regularly for JWRP.
One thing I find about my trips to Israel - I've done four JWRP trips so far - is that, aside from the unbelievable things I gain from the incredible classes, experiences, holiness of the land, and relationships with my fellow travelers, there is something astonishingly powerful about achieving distance from your usual life.
A lot of us will be traveling this summer - whether to Israel or elsewhere. Whenever I go away from my home, life, family for any length of time, I find myself assuming a more aerial view of whatever issues I currently am grappling with. I see my strengths with greater clarity and my weaknesses more sharply. (I didn't say this was fun.)
Recently, one of these moments hit me while contemplating a particularly challenging issue that I'm struggling through with one of my kids. I found myself ruminating over the fact that it seems that life never gets easier. Meaning, when the kids are little, you're like, "When I can finally sleep through the night, I'll feel human again!" And that's true and important, and then they hit middle school. And then you're like, "Oh my gosh!! When they finally get settled socially, I'll feel like a human again." And THAT'S true and important too, and then they hit adolescence.
And then you run away from home.
Kidding!!! I promise I was only kidding.
So I found myself consumed with depressing thoughts when I finally got smart enough to realize that life never actually gets easy. The problems change and take different forms but there's no actual easy street. Ask empty-nesters if they worry about the kids and grandkids. (They do.) My long-awaited relief from life's difficulties was nowhere in sight!! So in processing this all with a good friends from the vantage point of space and distance, I came to what was for me a life-altering recognition. And here (drum-roll) it is:
If we can use our difficulties in life to develop and cultivate coping skills that are spiritual and emotionally healthy, we will find that life's difficulties become not only easier to bear, but a source of growth and positive change.
Shall I repeat that? OK.
If we can use our difficulties in life to develop and cultivate coping skills that are spiritual and emotionally healthy, we will find that life's difficulties become not only easier to bear, but a source of growth and positive change.
It's kind of like riding a bike. You don't even realize how you're developing balance, distance-judging skills, and visual instincts, until you realize you're doing much harder trails, and not freaking out. But the rub is this: you need tools to develop those skills. Some people access the "emotional health" piece and not the "spiritual" piece.
But that, of course, is where Judaism comes in.
You knew that, right?
