Soul Purpose

Soul Purpose My grandmother's father, lovingly known as “Pa Fink,” was on his deathbed in Scranton, PA. It was June of 1965, and his daughter, my grandmother ("Grandma") was in NY. She had gotten the call to come to Scranton right away. The doctors did not think he would hang in there, but he did. The nurses said that he was waiting for his youngest daughter to arrive and say her final goodbye. When Grandma arrived, he opened his eyes for the last time, smiled, took Grandma’s hand, and then passed away. Less than two weeks prior to that, Pa's wife, Yitta (Ida) passed away in the same hospital. Amazingly, when she passed away, her husband, laying in his hospital bed, sensed and remarked on the passing of his dear wife. Ma and Pa Fink had lived in a small shtetl in Poland and came to the USA in 1922, moving to Taylor, PA, a small mining town near Scranton. They were one of only two Shomer Shabbos (Shabbat observant) families in their town, and remained that way as they raised their five children. Our daughter Yitty is named after Ma Fink, and for a long time she has wanted to make the trip to Scranton to visit the gravesite of her namesake. She finally got her opportunity. Last weekend our family planned to drive to New York to celebrate my nephew's Bar Mitzvah. Our original plan was to leave Cleveland early Friday morning and arrive in NY in time for Shabbat. Then our daughter Yitty informed us that Friday would be the yahrtzeit of her namesake, and that she would love to make a stop in Scranton to visit the Jewish cemetery there to say a prayer at Ma Fink's gravesite. I called my cousins in Scranton and explained that Friday would be Ma Fink's yahrtzeit, and would they be interested in helping us organize a minyan, so that we could recite kaddish there? It's considered a tremendous merit for the soul of a deceased relative to have kaddish recited on their behalf at their final resting place, especially on the day of their yahrtzeit. So, we all drove into Scranton Thursday evening, arrived at our cousin's home past midnight, and met at the cemetery at 10:30 the next morning. Between my 14-year-old son and me, my father and brother who drove in from Monsey, NY, two cousins, and four friends from Scranton, we had our minyan. We recited kaddish, along with some psalms that corresponded to each letter of the full Hebrew name of my great-grandmother, and heard a few brief reflections and memories from friends and relatives. I spent a few extra minutes in heartfelt, emotional prayer and solitude at the final resting place of my great-grandparents, great-aunts, -uncles and cousins. I don't know if we will ever have the opportunity to return to this hallowed ground, and my cousin confirmed that this was the only time that a minyan had gathered at Ma and Pa Fink's gravesite on a yahrtzeit to recite kaddish on their behalf, since their passing in 1965! (See the attached photo of their headstone. Notice that they passed less than two weeks apart, and the family had one double stone commissioned for their final resting place together.) It was a moving experience, and really got me thinking not just about the human journey in this world, but also about the role of the eternal soul. The prayers that we recite and the mitzvahs that we perform, even decades or centuries later, bring peace to the soul, and it feels the elevation as those mitzvahs and prayers help it ascend higher in the spiritual world of eternity. The past year has been an extremely difficult one for everyone, especially for our extended "family" living in Israel. After a year of Covid, then the tragedy on Mt. Meron, and now the terrible acts of terrorism, rocket attacks and rioting, G-d is definitely trying hard to get our attention, and our thoughts and prayers are with our brothers and sisters in the holy land. Next week will be the holiday of Shavuot. It is customary to recite a special "yizkor" memorial prayer on this holiday. In this prayer we ask G-d to "grant rest and shelter to the lofty, holy and pure souls who are resting in paradise, in the shelter of His wings for eternity, in the bond of eternal life..." It is so hard to make sense of the death and destruction going on in the world, especially in the land of Israel, G-d's divine palace, but we can take a bit of solace and comfort from the message of this prayer as we reaffirm our historical tradition that at least we know and believe that the souls of our departed ones are in a better place. PS Please join us at JFX this upcoming holiday on Tuesday, 5/18 for our yizkor memorial services at 11:00 AM. We will dedicate a special prayer in memory of the recent victims in Israel. Shabbat Shalom and happy Shavuot, Rabbi Koval