Fall. A time for chilly temperatures, Thanksgiving and, of course, leaves on the ground.
We used to have a large maple tree on our front lawn that would shed copious amounts of leaves every fall. As is the case in many families, I would assume, it is my unspoken job as the father to rake the leaves into a pile on the tree lawn so that they can be collected by the city. Well, technically it was a job that I used to give to my children to do, but like most other jobs that I give them it ended up being started, only to be deserted in the middle when it got to be too boring or when they were called upon to do something more exciting, such as playing with their friends or hitting up the PlayStation. So, inevitably, I would be the one to pick up the rake and get the remainder of the leaves to the tree lawn. Of course, once the leaves were all piled up my wonderful cherubs would come running home to have fun jumping into them.
I nostalgically remember the thrill of jumping into a huge pile of leaves on a chilly fall day and in fact when I pass a nice pile of leaves I often have a strong urge to plow right into it. I usually resist that impulse simply because I am afraid of the bashing I would inevitably receive from my teenage daughters. I can just hear them now complaining to me. “How could you do that? What grownup jumps in leaves in public?! It’s, like, TOTALLY DYSFUNTIONAL for grown parents to jump in leaves! How could you do such a thing?! Like, it’s literally socially off! Abba!!! Like, seriously! Like, LITERALLY! Like. Like. Like…” I do enough “dad things” that elicit their venting of embarrassment so I usually let this one go as it’s not worth it.
I remember an incident one year when two of my young children were in the yard jumping excitedly into the two piles of leaves that I had recently created on the tree lawn. Each one was happily jumping into their own pile until one of them got bored with their own pile and began taking leaves from the pile of their brother. Well, that brother who just had “his” pile invaded by his brother was not too fond of this act of “aggression” and began to complain loudly. Before long I began to hear those familiar screams of, “Abba!!! He’s starting a fight with me!!!”
I came to see what the latest fight was about and I saw two huge piles of leaves, with many more leaves on the ground next to those piles, and my two children fighting over the leaves which “belonged” to them. I tried explaining to them that it was nonsense to fight over the leaves as there are more than enough leaves for each of them plus there were more leaves available off to the side as well but it was falling on deaf ears. I shook my head in disbelief at the ridiculousness of this latest fight.
That very incident came to my mind when I was once visiting a city out of town and I noticed an interesting thing. There was a small strip of stores with different businesses but there were two stores that were right near each other, each one advertising the exact same services as the other. I asked a local about the two stores and he shared with me the background. One store owner, we’ll call him Reuven (not his real name) had a certain business that was very successful. Another fellow in town, we’ll call him Shimon (also not his real name) saw the success Reuven was having so he opened the same type of business right nearby. In addition, this second proprietor opened a different store in the aforementioned shopping strip that, while similar in nature to his first business, was a bit different and distinct. Reuven, upset over the fact that this competitor opened up his original store right near his, decided to get back at him so he too opened a new store just two storefronts away in that same strip and providing the same new service as Shimon had opened. Hence, there were now two different stores offering identical services just a couple of storefronts away from each other.
I don’t know either of the parties nor am I judging anyone but I remember it baffling my mind. After all, this was in a very large community which could easily have supported both businesses but the two of them were so consumed with anger over the other person “stealing” their business that they were more focused on getting back at the other than on making their own business successful. Upon hearing the background I remember thinking these two fellows were really no different than my two little children fighting over “their” leaves.
Contrast this story with another story I once heard. There was a fellow who owned a printing shop in Bnei Brak, Israel. When he heard that a new person in town was planning on opening up a printing business right down the block from his he immediately called up the newcomer and introduced himself. He told him that he has been operating a printing business for many years right down the street and he is calling to offer him all sorts of tips and helpful advice how to succeed given his knowledge of the industry and location!
His incredulous family members, who were understandably upset about their father potentially losing business in the first place, could not believe what they were hearing. Was it not enough that their family stood to now lose money, did their father actually need to assist the competitor?!
The father answered them as follows. “Whatever I am supposed to earn is decreed from G-d every year, not one penny more and not one penny less. This fellow has NO ability to make me lose any money that G-d has decreed I should earn. If that is the case, why would I NOT offer to help him out so that he can be successful and I can simultaneously have the mitzvah of helping a fellow Jew?”
Oh, how wonderful this world would be if we all had this attitude!
It is imperative to recall that everything in our lives, including our income, is determined by G-d. He has plenty to provide the entire world with its needs as we say thrice daily in the Ashrei prayer, “He opens His hand and satisfies the desire of all living things.”
When we see children fighting over who gets which leaves we look on with dismay. We realize there is an entire yard full of leaves there for the taking and each can have as many leaves as they’d like. But when we are adults and see someone else “taking” our livelihood we get nervous. Why? Because we don’t in fact believe there are more “leaves” out there for us. We are under the illusion that WE are in charge of what we will earn and if left to the plans and devices of others we will potentially lose out. This is a mistaken attitude!
The first of the Ten Commandments is to know that G-d is the One who created the world and took us out of Egypt, and, by extension, the One who provides for every detail that affects our lives. Just as He provides food for the lowest animal so too does He provide for each of us and no one can take away what is rightfully ours. We need only to put in the necessary effort and then trust in G-d to provide us with our needs and not worry about other people.
Meanwhile, if you’d like to come help me rake my lawn I would appreciate it. The good news is my helpers stopped fighting (for now at least), but the bad news is they are back inside playing Madden. Then again, now I have the leaves all to myself and, as long as my teenage daughters aren’t watching, I can enjoy jumping in them for a bit!
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Koval