Hey, That's Mine
I was having a conversation with my married daughter, Hadassa, about her 3-year-old son, Tzvi. We were talking about how she had just taken him to Target to buy him a birthday gift and how exhausting it was. Having 8 children of my own, and having done the same thing countless times over the years, I fully commiserated with her.
Anyone with children knows that one of the most physically and emotionally draining activities is taking your young child to a store. “Abba can we buy this? How about this? OOOOHHH can we get THIS? But I neeeeeeeed it! I’ll take good care of it, I promise!!! But Mommy SAAAIIIIDDD I could! I’ll pay for it with my own money!” (Last I checked he had a whopping 38 cents in the piggy bank so not sure how that would work.) And so on. By the time I get home from shopping with my kids I am ready for a shot of bourbon and two Tylenol.
Hadassa shared with me that the biggest problem she had with Tzvi in the store is when it came time to pay. When she handed over his Batman Lego to the cashier, Tzvi has a meltdown and demanded that it is HIS and why is she giving it away?! In fact, he told Hadassa that instead of going to the store she should buy it “on the computer” so that he doesn’t need to give it to “the lady.” (He gets his brains from his grandfather.)
While we’re on the topic, I find it funny to watch children growing up in this generation. My daughter Faye also has a special affinity for online shopping because when she wants something and we tell her it’s too expensive she suggests that we buy it online because “then we don’t need to pay." Apparently Jeff Bezos has made billions selling Boy Scout cookies.
Anyway, back to Tzvi not wanting to hand over his toy to the cashier to be rung up. Hadassa told Tzvi that the way a store works is that in order to get something you first need to give it to the lady for a minute, to which Tzvi replied, “OK Mommy, I can wait a minute.” HAHA! Of course he didn’t say that! Trying to reason with a 3-year-old and explain to him how a store works when he wants his precious toy is like trying to explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – it’s falling on deaf ears. The 20 seconds it took for the cashier to ring up the item felt like 20 minutes as Tzvi carried on. No wonder Hadassa was so exhausted when she came home!
This week’s parsha teaches us about the incredible hospitality of our patriarch Abraham and his wife Sarah. Their home was open to everyone, stranger and friend. No matter a person’s status or belief our incredible ancestors made sure everyone was taken in and wined and dined. When they sat down to eat the guest would invariably ask Abraham what the cost was for such a sumptuous feast. Abraham’s reply would surprise the guest. “There is no charge at all! The only thing I ask of you is to say a blessing to the Creator of the world, thanking Him for the food He has provided us.” More often than not the guest gladly recited the blessing and kept his money in his own pocket, but sometimes there would be a guest who did not believe in the fairy tale called “G-d” that Abraham was trying to sell him. As such he refused to say the appropriate blessing. Abraham would then say “No problem, in that case you owe me such-and-such for the cost of the meal.” Usually at that point the guest would say the blessing, figuring it was a good tradeoff and an easy way to save a few bucks.
The concept instituted by Abraham to bless G-d before and after we eat is in fact a mitzvah and obligation that we are bound to till this very day. Every food item that we eat has a blessing that accompanies it and should be recited prior to eating. The Talmud teaches us that when one eats food without reciting a blessing beforehand he is considered to have “stolen” from G-d. Not only that, he is also “stealing” from the entire world because, as the Talmud explains, when we thank G-d for His bounty it sets into motion heavenly blessing in the form of more bounty for the world whereas when we neglect to make blessings it stunts the channels of blessing from descending to this world. It is only after we recite the appropriate blessing that the item truly becomes ours to partake of.
In short, G-d gives us all kinds of gifts, from the big things like life and health down to the smallest thing like my morning cup of coffee. Similar to Abraham, G-d does not request monetary payment from us. Imagine if we had to pay for every breath we took or every time we utilized our incredible gift of eyesight and mobility! If for every cup of water or bite of a bagel we would need to pay more money (beyond what we paid from the store)! Instead G-d says, like Abraham, “You do not need to pay me, just make a blessing and then the food is yours! Bon appétit!” (Yes, G-d speaks French as much as He speaks English.) In other words, everything in life has a cost and the “cost” of eating is paid to G-d in the form of saying a blessing prior to eating.
Interestingly enough, when I have spoken with people about the concept of reciting blessings I have occasionally been met with resistance to the notion. I don't mean that it's new for them and they are unaccustomed to doing it, or because they forget the text of the blessing. I am talking about being resistant to the concept itself.
I am not a psychologist so I can’t definitively say why someone would be opposed to the idea. After all, it is a relatively easy mitzvah to fulfill. It does not cost anything, nor is it something that someone who is self-conscious about his religiosity needs to be known to be public. It also takes only a few seconds. So what gives? My speculation with regards to such an attitude is that these people have an inherent resistance to submit themselves to the notion of the existence of a Higher Being who is the ultimate provider for all our needs. People would rather feel that THEY are in control of providing for themselves.
Similar to a 3-year-old who does not appreciate the concept of having to relinquish control of his toy to the cashier for just a few seconds before he gets to enjoy his purchase, some people are just hesitant to part with their mindset that they are in control of everything. Blessing G-d for our possessions is an implicit acquiescence that He controls everything and then gives it to us.
We aren’t 3-year-olds. We understand that in order to get something we have to momentarily give it up to someone else first. If that applies when buying a Batman Lego at Target, it applies just as well when we enjoy anything this world has to offer.
Let’s use the lesson from this week’s parsha to try and commit, even for just this week, to make as many blessings as we can before and after we partake of G-d’s munificence. We have no problem handing over our products and paying for it in the store before it becomes ours, and in this great big store we have called “life” G-d should not be treated any less than the cashier in Target!
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Koval