You gotta love kids.
This week my 3 younger children were home, having finished their respective day camps so, in a last minute decision, my wife and I decided to take them on a trip to Niagara Falls. We found a house on Airbnb near the Falls and off we went, much to the delight of my kids.
Suffice it to say the 3½ hour car ride proceeded as smoothly as it always does, which in case you have 3 children who are different from mine and don’t know what I mean, about as smoothly as a Yom Ha’atzmaut parade through downtown Iran.
We arrived at the house Sunday night and planned on going to the Falls on Monday. The weather was beautiful and we were excited to give the kids a fun time.
We arrived at the Falls on Monday and proceeded to the ticket counter for the Cave of the Winds attraction. Because of Corona they were staggering the times that people can go in and we were told it would be our turn at 5 o’clock. The issue was it was only 1 o’clock at the moment! We decided to walk to the Falls and to somehow pass the time for the next 4 hours.
Those 4 hours flew by like a dream with the kids being pure angels.
I’m kidding, of course. (Must be the sunstroke). The weather was in the 90’s and there was not a cloud in the sky as well. We walked around for a little bit and then decided to do something else to pass the time – we would take the kids on the Maid of the Mist! Despite the fact that we originally intended to only do one attraction, we wanted the kids to get the most out of our vacation and figured it would also ease the pain of the long wait for the Cave of the Winds.
Unfortunately the line for the Maid of the Mist was extremely long and it took over an hour-and-a-half as the socially distanced line snaked around while we baked in the sun. In an effort to further assuage my cantankerous children I splurged and went to the concession stands to buy them popsicles and Dippin’ Dots. Of course the top of the popsicle broke off and fell on the floor as soon as we opened the package, setting off fresh tears from the hapless child whose popsicle just got cut down. How predictable!
When we were finally getting close to the entrance, after waiting for over an hour at this point, my kids’ patience began to erode quickly and they started sharing their frustrations aloud. They were complaining about the line, about their feet hurting them, about the hunger etc. Miriam turned to me and smiled and said, “I don’t know how exactly but this is good material for your next Ramble!”
As always, she proved to be correct!
When our turn finally came we got on the boat and enjoyed the view as well as the refreshing spray from the magnificent and awesome Falls. Exclamations of gratitude poured forth from the mouths of our adorable cherubs but alas, the gratitude was short-lived.
We got off the boat and began making our way towards the Cave of the Winds when my children began to complain once again. At this point they were exhausted and had little interest in walking once more in the hot sun. I tried giving them encouragement by telling them how fun and amazing the Cave of the Winds would be, and how it would be well worth the effort in getting there, but my words were falling on deaf ears.
“We want to go home!” they said. I explained that I had already purchased the tickets and that was not an option. Besides, I knew they would have a blast, if only they were able to stick it out and go through the efforts necessary to get into the attraction.
They were adamant that they just wanted to leave but I was equally obstinate that we were going to stay and get to the Cave of the Winds. Because I am the parent (and because I had the car keys in my pocket), I won out.
Sure enough, 5 o’clock came and we got our turn to go see the Falls up close.
What can I say to describe the experience? It was simply put, amazing! We were awed by the sheer power and beauty of the Falls and blown away by standing just inches away from them. We got drenched as we stood on Hurricane Deck and laughed and shrieked to our heart’s content. After a little while I was ready to leave but I couldn’t pull my kids away. They were having such a blast that they kept begging me to give them just a few more minutes.
Eventually we left, elated, dripping wet and exhausted, we made our way back to our house for a barbeque and a good night’s sleep.
On the drive back I thought about our day. Why do we parents do these things for our children? Why are we spending hard-earned money and give of our time and energy to make these trips? Why do I look around when I am out and see countless fathers like myself, trudging along in the heat and schlepping backpacks full of food and carrying everyone’s caps, jackets and anything else the kids are not interested in wearing or G-d forbid carry themselves? Why are mothers like Miriam soothing cranky children as they wait on line and doling out treats to keep them happy? Why bother with it all?
The answer is because most parents want to give their children a good time. We want to create happy memories and give them pleasure. It is part of our nature. And oftentimes we recognize that there might be discomfort or minor pain before we can get that pleasure but we know, with the experience and knowledge that comes along with adulthood, that those discomforts are going to be well worth it in the end.
So even as the kids fuss and tantrum about the heat and the lines and the walking and the popsicles that fall on the ground, we push and prod and encourage them to persevere. They may fight us and say, “It’s not worth it! We want to go home!” but we ignore them and push on. Because we know in the end they will be happy they did it. They will have an experience that will give them incredible memories for a lifetime until they, G-d willing, will have their own children whom they will want to do the same for.
In the beginning of this week’s parsha G-d tells the Jewish people: “See, I have given before you blessing and curses, life and death. Blessing and life will be the reward for those who keep my Torah and observe the commandments.” And later on G-d exhorts and pleads with us, “Please! Choose life!” G-d says, “I know it is easier to take the easy path in this world and not follow the Torah but I know the reward that is in store for you if you choose the path of the Torah and mitzvos, it is the most fantastic reward which cannot be fathomed and it is eternal as well! I beg of you – choose life!”
Just like a parent, G-d desperately wants to shower us with blessing. But he set up the world in a system that gives us free choice. Choosing a life of Torah and mitzvos earns us eternal life and blessing, choosing the easier path and ignoring the Torah does not. While the choice is very much ours, G-d is our loving parent who so badly wants to give us those eternal rewards so He pleads and encourages us to make the choices that will lead to that end.
As we drove to our house my kids broke out into their customary cheer of “2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate…!” and I smiled with the inner contentment a parent has at having rewarded his children and showered them with goodness and happiness (at least until they gave me a hard time at bedtime).
Let us try to give our Father in heaven the same feeling of contentment. He desperately wants to shower us with good; we just need to make the choices that lead to that reward. Try it, maybe you’ll even get a popsicle that doesn’t break!
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Koval
