Delusions of Control
While teaching a Torah class to a bunch of ten-year-olds recently, I went around the room asking the children their names. Each name was familiar to me. I realized that I had performed the bris of practically every single one of these boys. What a nachas moment it was for me to be able to be part of the Jewish continuity of the same boys whom I was privileged to bring into the Jewish covenant ten years earlier!
Then a different, sadder thought crossed my mind, as I realized that this is no longer the case. Ten years ago I was THE main mohel for the Cleveland Jewish community. I had the privilege to be called upon to perform the bris of almost every single Jewish boy born in the greater Cleveland area. I took it for granted, and much of my life revolved around this reality. However, this is no longer the case.
While I still remain an active mohel, many young couples opt to have their newborn boys circumcised by a doctor, instead of a rabbi. I now realize that I did absolutely nothing to deserve to be the "big mohel on campus" ten years ago. It was a gift from Hashem. Now it is easier to remind myself that every single bris that I am called upon to perform is an undeserved and greatly appreciated gift. After something (or someone) is taken away from you, it becomes clear how much of a gift that thing (or person) truly was.
One week ago, we had delusions of control in so many wonderful components of our lives, and we all took so many things for granted. Like our health, the robust economy, social gatherings, having our kids in school, going to synagogue to pray without any worries or concerns. We never stopped to think about all of our undeserved gifts. Now that all of this has been taken away from us, we have so much more free time to think about this, and to work on strengthening our character trait of gratitude. This is also a message of emunah, faith. Gratitude and faith are two sides of the same coin. We need to be reminded that Hashem is in control and that everything that we did, do or will have is an undeserved gift from Him.
I don't think that the timing of the spread of this pandemic is a coincidence. We all celebrated a carefree and fun holiday of Purim one week ago. Everyone gathered together to celebrate and rejoice, and nobody dreamed of social distancing. We hardly remembered the spiritual message of the holiday of Purim, which is to remember that there is no such thing as coincidence, and that He is controlling events, and that we must never take anything for granted. Now that lesson is front and center in all of our lives.
This not a time for panic. We must remain calm. However, it is a time for action. Let us learn from the microscopic Coronavirus. No action is insignificant. One person in Wuhan, China coughed, and the entire world changed. As Rabbi YY Jacobson says, "You don't have to change the world to change the world." Help bring positive change to the world through a small action. Our family has added one small action point to our daily routine. Each night at our family dinner (we now have plenty of those!), we study together one small chapter on the power of our words.
If you would like to join us for this campaign that can change the way we speak about our fellow human beings, consider ordering the book here and join our family's nightly routine. We hope and pray that this commitment will contribute to divine favor in fighting and ending the virus speedily and hastily!
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Koval
