In our home,
we have a "marble jar" system of motivating our kids to do good
stuff. I've been using this system for years, ever since my oldests
were babes and I read about a similar concept in a parenting book I
found in my mother's car one summer. I tweaked it and personalized it
to my family's specs, and now here we are. My 18, 17, and 15 year-olds
have outgrown the marbles, but now 12, 10, and 6 are using it, very
happily. Simply, they earn marbles when they do good things, and can
then trade those marbles in for privileges and rewards.
Well, the youngest, Nomi, who turned three last month, just recently got wind of "marbles." And she, too, never one to be overlooked, has been asking for her very own marble jar. So, we pulled out a leftover cup from someone's hand-washing project and decorated it just for Nomi.
The cute part is, she only wants marbles in her jar - it's its own reward. She doesn't know, or need to know, that there is anything you can actually DO with marbles, or that they're exciting because they represent something bigger and better. It's sweet.
But it got me thinking.
We're asked to do all kinds of good deeds while on this planet. Speak respectfully. Avoid non-kosher. Honor Shabbat. Have compassion. And we're promised "rewards" for all of them. What we fail to realize is that the "rewards" we are promised are just a marble. Really, there's an amazing intangible reward that those tangible rewards represent. Really, those little prizes can be traded up for something much better, something that will last much longer.
Really, doing a good deed is so sweet and so good because it makes us incredible people. It stretches us, grows us, gives us the gifts of compassion, perseverance, honesty, and patience.
Can a few prizes compare?
But we're only human. It's hard for us to be motivated by this all the time. So G-d gives us a little marble jar. Because it's fun to watch it fill up. And that's good, too.
Just know, He says in a sweet whisper, that all those marbles stand for something much more exciting. Much more real. Much more eternal. And when you're ready... you will recognize their worth.
So we do good deeds. And we earn those marbles. And also, we earn the gift of goodness - that no one can take away from us.
I give Nomi about a year before she starts asking to trade up her marbles!
Well, the youngest, Nomi, who turned three last month, just recently got wind of "marbles." And she, too, never one to be overlooked, has been asking for her very own marble jar. So, we pulled out a leftover cup from someone's hand-washing project and decorated it just for Nomi.
The cute part is, she only wants marbles in her jar - it's its own reward. She doesn't know, or need to know, that there is anything you can actually DO with marbles, or that they're exciting because they represent something bigger and better. It's sweet.
But it got me thinking.
We're asked to do all kinds of good deeds while on this planet. Speak respectfully. Avoid non-kosher. Honor Shabbat. Have compassion. And we're promised "rewards" for all of them. What we fail to realize is that the "rewards" we are promised are just a marble. Really, there's an amazing intangible reward that those tangible rewards represent. Really, those little prizes can be traded up for something much better, something that will last much longer.
Really, doing a good deed is so sweet and so good because it makes us incredible people. It stretches us, grows us, gives us the gifts of compassion, perseverance, honesty, and patience.
Can a few prizes compare?
But we're only human. It's hard for us to be motivated by this all the time. So G-d gives us a little marble jar. Because it's fun to watch it fill up. And that's good, too.
Just know, He says in a sweet whisper, that all those marbles stand for something much more exciting. Much more real. Much more eternal. And when you're ready... you will recognize their worth.
So we do good deeds. And we earn those marbles. And also, we earn the gift of goodness - that no one can take away from us.
I give Nomi about a year before she starts asking to trade up her marbles!
