This past week, a number of weirdly related events occurred, enough to make even this hard-boiled realist see a spiritual pattern.
Firstly,
I read an article in a magazine about two women who are approached to
cook dinner for a community member that has just given birth. One says
yes and one says no - each explains her reasons for doing so, while
recognizing that chessed (kindness) is a very important value. This is a
weak point for me, so I sat up and paid attention. Those of you that
know me know that cooking is not my favorite activity, and getting
dinner on the table for my own family is an activity that is quite an
accomplishment for me, especially when I get it done with aplomb.
Yet, in a community like mine, we take care of each other. Others do for me in this way, and I am thus asked to do for others.
Then,
over the course of the next two days, I received five separate requests
to get involved in this cause or that - all of which I had to say no
to. But OUCH! It hurt.
I didn't doubt that it was
the right thing to decline these opportunities. But the juxtaposition
of all these occurences was too odd to not notice. So, there's a
message. What is it?
Here's what I think:
Moral
decisions are rarely all-right or all-wrong. And this is no
exception. The temptation, when saying no, is to justify it strongly,
and come out of the experience self-righteous, to obscure the guilt. I
don't think this is what God wants from me.
I think
God wants me say no, with a pinch of.... something. Nope, not guilt.
And not regret - if I truly feel I made the right choice. But sympathy.
For the person in question. Creativity, maybe - can I help in another
way? Kindness - maybe I need to do more kindness in other arenas of
life, to keep the muscle strong.
That's what I've been thinking. Saying no with spirituality. What do you think?
