by Ruchi Koval
This month I've been running parenting workshops. I love running them. I love the participants, love the examples and stories that come up, and truly enjoy sharing some things I've learned from my mistakes with others.
The rub: I need to share things from my own life to clarify a point.
The problem: I don't want to speak lashon hara (gossip) about my family members.
The truth: they really appreciate that.
So I'm stuck doing awkward things like telling stories with gender-neutral pronouns (like "they" for singular - yuk!) and avoiding the age or identifying details of the kids in question. It's tricky, but I think it works. And it's really, really good for me.
Thanksgiving weekend, we are called upon to offer gratitude for the blessings in our lives. When asked, any parent would list their kids as among their greatest blessings. Yet, we complain about our kids. All. The. Time. Could it be that complaining about our kids deadens the gratitude we ought to feel for the blessing they bring into our lives? (Hint: yes.) Could it also be that sometimes we are blind to our kids' faults and failings? (Hint: also yes.) Could it be, maybe, as we discussed in said workshop, that our kids need both nurturing and discipline? Yes, yes, and yes.
When we are super-aware of not bad-mouthing our family members, it is much easier to be cognizant of our gratitude. It's sort of like tuning out the static so we can hear the music.
Hope your Thanksgiving was grateful.
And hope your music is beautiful.
