The "Raw Self"
This week we have been working feverishly on our annual Shabbaton. This is our
8th annual Shabbaton, so it's sort of like having your 8th child: you know what
you're doing.
In my mussar groups, we learn about character development and becoming a more
spiritual person by improving our behaviors. Well, one of the traits in my
hard drive is to do things Type A: I want it done well and I want it done now.
This "hard drive" is what I call the "Raw Self." But alas, those of us who
have any kind of interaction with other human beings (all of us) know that many
people are not efficient, not responsible, and not punctual. Oh well! What to
do? The study of mussar teaches that each of us is obligated to take our Raw
Self and improve upon it, through study, discipline, and practice, in the
laboratories of our own lives and relationships. Through this we can arrive at
the "Real Self." Why "real"? Because it is the closest to our essential
selves: the one that most closely mirrors our pure souls. Our job is to get
from our Raw Selves to our Real Selves over the course of our lives.
Well, here's what I've learned in 8 years of planning Shabbatons together with
my partner for life:
Year 1: We can make an incredible Shabbaton. If we work hard and get the right
help, it can be flawless.
Year 2: Well, there are some things we can do differently for next year to make
it even better. But this time we will definitely work out all the kinks and it
will be flawless.
Year 3: Maybe we didn't anticipate everything. Also, we're growing bigger and
need to change some dynamics. But for sure next year, it will be flawless.
Year 4, 5, 6: If we get even more help, and anticipate every eventuality, we
can absolutely make the next Shabbaton flawless.
Year 7 and 8: Oh... no Shabbaton is flawless. But I can work on myself to be
more flawless. If I stay calm, act forgiving, give others the benefit of the
doubt, smile when there's a glitch, and pray, this Shabbaton will - truly - be
considered flawless... even through the eventual flaws.
Year 9: What am I talking about?! Every single Shabbaton we run is flawless!!
(Kidding.)
Love to all,
and with mucho anticipation for this Shabbat,
Ruchi
